Beyond the Grave: Teen Suicide and Cyber Bullying

Image taken from http://www.hauntedyards.com/tombstones1.html%22%3EHaunted





First and foremost, I would like to apologise for not having written in a while; my life offline has been pretty hectic these past few months. I wanted to take the time to write in here tonight on account of a news article that popped up in my news feed this evening regarding another report of teenage suicide. The full article can be read by clicking on the link below:

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8275223/cyber-bullied-teen-taunted-after-death

Daani Sanders took her own life just yesterday after suffering continual harrassment from cyber bullies. The article seems to read that most of the bullies came from her school, and that the bullying was done over Facebook. What makes matters worse is that the tribute pages set up by Daani's friends on Facebook have been the target of further bullying, with people saying that they "laughed... out hard" when they heard the tragic news. The video attached to the article portrays hundreds of people gathering around to pay her respects, people who genuinely cared for her and are now sad that she is gone. Her boyfriend was also interviewed for the news report.

There are a few things about this story which disturb me greatly, and raise some very alarming questions. These are:

1) The fact that people had the gall to say they were glad she died on the Facebook tribute pages. There is something quite unsettling about people delighting in other peoples' tragedies. Has bullying now reached a level where the bullies are no longer satisfied with making their victims' lives miserable, that they have to kill themselves before a bully can say he/she has reached his/her ultimate goal? And what is this saying in general about the kind of environment our kids are growing up in?

2) The fact that the bullying has continued after death . Isn't it enough now that a life has been taken because of cruel words and callous remarks? What do these people aim to achieve by rubbing salt onto the already existing wounds of the victim's family and friends?

3) The fact the Daani's parents had to pull her out of school because of the bullying. There is a pattern I am finding in a lot of the (cyber) bullying cases I have been reading lately, and withdrawing the victim from the school where the bullying is taking place is one of them. The question begs as to why do parents feel that this is the ultimate course of action they need to take to make sure their kids are safe. With all the anti-bullying policies and procedures schools have placed to ensure student safety, why do some students still unsafe? How serious are teachers/principles taking this very important issue? These questions arise from a person who will eventually become a teacher one he has finished his degree, so while I do not have the answers to these questions now, I am certain that I will find these answers out when I step into the teaching field, and I hope to be able to find ways of making sure the system works properly.

4) What I found the most disturbing about the whole incident is the way in which the boyfriend reacted to hearing of her death. He claims not to have known the extent of the bullying, and seems to actually be downplaying the incident, claiming that bullying would not have been a major contributing factor behind his beloved's death:

"I guess bullying could come in but I don't know, I don't really think it's about bullying...She has other issues that no one knows, not even me."

Now, I am probably being a little bit too judgmental of the boyfriend's character; it could very well be that he is still in mourning and that downplaying what happen is simply his way of dealing with the grief. But if you're in a steady relationship with someone, and you had a little bit of an idea of the problems and "other issues" that someone is having, why would you not keep the communication lines open and try and get him/her to open up to you? Furthermore, he would have known about Daani's parents taking her out of school because of the bullying. This should have been another indicator that the bullying had to have been more serious than he realised.

Things that I have realised and learned from reading this article are:

1) Making sure you know your cyber friends really well. It is interesting that Daani had over 2000 Facebook friends at the time the bullying occurred. How many out of those 2000 Facebook friends did she really know? Did she know them well enough to be able to trust them in sharing her personal online life with them? I just know for myself that I never had that many friends when I was 16, and still don't have that many today. I guess one important lesson we could learn here is to be careful who we are adding as friends on Facebook and other social websites, because we really do not know what kind of people are out there in cyberspace. Perhaps some of her "friends" were fake profiles set up by the bullies that tormented her at school, in order to try and get to her? I remember from my own struggle against cyber bullying that that was what my bully used to do. Making sure you add ONLY those people you know and trust as friends on social networks is probably the safest way to ensure you do not become a victim of cyber bullying.

2) It is NEVER good to downplay bullying or to treat it lightly. Always keep communication lines open, especially if you are in a relationship where you sense your partner is being bullied by someone else. I guess part of the reason why Daani's boyfriend never understood the extent of the bullying is because there was a communication breakdown somewhere. I am not saying this to try and make out that he is partly at fault for what happened; what I am saying is if we know of someone who is having difficulty fitting in at school to be aware of possible "signals" they are sending, and making sure that we lend a listening ear, so that that person can know they can turn to you for comfort and advice.

3) As an extention of 2), people who are being bullied should always remember that they are not alone in this struggle. The video reports hundreds of people who cared for Daani and are grieving her death; only a small handful of people had bullied her. The number of people who cared enough about her far outweighed the number of people who had tried to tear her down - and succeeded. I know I have mentioned this on more than one occassion in this blog, but I feel that communication is one of many tools which we can use to help those we know of who are victims of (cyber) bullying. Helping the victims see things from the perspective that there are more people who care about them than hate them, can be a great help for them, for this knowledge can be a great strength to them when things become too unbearable.

To conclude, there are many questions still left unanswered. The most tragic thing about teenage suicide in general is the fact that families and friends will never be able to fully understand the reasons why the person who they cared for decides to take their own life. While we might not know the answers to all of the questions we ask ourselves when such tragedies occur, we can prevent other people from going through the same trauma by raising awareness and speaking out for tougher measures against bullies.

How Could It Have Gotten This Far? My Thoughts on the Jessi Slaughter Case

Image taken from radiohillsdale.com


Warning: The following video clips and some of the subsequent links contain explicit content, and it is advised that this particular blog entry be read at parental discretion.

It seems that I am now finding a lot of things to write about in this blog. While this is quite a disturbing tale, I feel it needs to be shared here as an example of how cyber bullying can go too far, and how incorrect procedures in counteracting cyber bullying can easily backfire.

The following video clip was featured in an online news update that came up when I logged onto my computer yesterday. This is a video of a very distraught girl and her parents pleading for the people who have been spreading rumours about the girl online and pranking their house to stop what they are doing:



At first glance, I felt a lot of sympathy towards 11 year old Jessi Slaughter (not her real name). That is, of course, until I did some more research and saw the video that actually started the whole tirade:



After yet further research, I had found out the reason why Jessi posted this video was because rumours were spread about her on a pre-teen social website called "Sticky Drama". The rumours were apparently started by members of the site, who spread the word that Jessi was in a relationship with the lead singer of an emo band (NineMSN).

After reading and viewing the responses to these rumours, Jessi decided to teach those "haters" a lesson by posting the above video. This was picked up by sites such as 4chan and Tumblr (Chen and News.com.au), and became distributed widely. In response to this "hate the haters" video, people began spreading Jessi's personal details online, including her phone number and address (Chen and NineMSN). People who accessed these details began to send prank messages to her home, ranging from pizza orders, to death threats (Chen, NineMSN and Stryker). One prankster even tried to call their house and posed as a police officer, saying that one of the "haters" that Jessi's video was addressed to had mysteriously disappeared (News.com.au). This was apparently when Jessi's parents were alerted to what exactly was happening (Momlogic).The most recent news that I could find is that Jessi is now in protective custody, until the people responsible for spreading her personal details online have been found (Chen, NineMSN, and Stryker).

The more I am finding out about the case, the more I come to realise how disturbing this case is - on SO many levels. How an act of childish pranks has escalated into a full police investigation defies all logic. Yet the more I read about this case, the more I come to realise that there were also plenty of measures people could have taken to prevent this situation from occurring. While many people seem to be pointing fingers and taking sides as to who is to blame for all of this (read the comments on the links posted at the end!), I would like to step back and present the facts in a more neutral perspective here, in order help the reader see how each member in this case could have done things a bit differently to prevent Jessi's current demise. It is to be remembered that in all cases of media coverage, only part of the full picture is revealed to us, and it is important that the reader keeps this in mind as he/she reads what I have to say on the matter.

Firstly, let us look at what Jessi herself could have done to avoid the situation. This is obviously a no-brainer: She should not have uploaded that video to begin with. By retaliating against her online attackers by producing this video, not only was she leaving herself open to further ridicule, but she herself had become one of the four types of cyber bullies out there, namely, the "Vengeful Angel" type of cyber bully. She felt that what she was doing was completely justifiable; in her eyes, she was trying to correct a wrong that had originally been done to her. The "Vengeful Angel" type of cyber bully cannot see that what he/she is doing is actually an act of cyber bullying, hence why she is so adamant in her defense video that it is the "HATERS" that have caused these problems for her, and not herself.

While it is true that these "haters" did indeed instigate the cyber bullying, she should not have tried to play fire with fire. A much better approach to the situation would have been to block them from her "Sticky Drama" account, as is explained in one of my previous posts. This post gives the reader other useful and productive ways of dealing with the situation, rather than trying to fight back with the same venom your online abusers are using.

Given the fact that Jessi is only 11 years old, and has not had much experience in the "real" world, it is highly likely that she did not realise these options were available to her. Because we do not know exactly what was going on in her head at the time she decided to post her response video, we should try not to judge her for poor decision making, despite what we think of her frankly obnoxious behaviour in the clip. She is simply a girl who has made a very foolish choice, and there is no doubt now that she is starting to feel the consequences of her actions.

I now draw my attention to Jessi's parents, who are also an interesting case to study. Through an interview with Momlogic, Jessi mother reveals that Jessi was given her own computer and web cam to use in her bedroom for her own private use. As the interview progresses, it is clear that her mother has not known - and still does not know - what her daughter gets up to online. Furthermore, Mrs Slaughter has been quoted frequently online to say that she has not seen the video that Jessi had posted, and does not WANT to see it (Chen and Momlogic). While I can appreciate Mrs Slaughter wishing to respect her daughter's privacy, living in denial and ignorance is not going to help her or her family pull through this tragedy. As a mother, she has every right to know what her daughter gets up to online and with whom she chats with. Proper ways of keeping the communication lines open with your children have been previously looked into in this post. Had BOTH Mr and Mrs Slaughter taken an interest into what their daughter was doing online, they could have easily prevented the situation before it even happened.

What is interesting is how the parents themselves get involved in the plea video. To me, it is as though they themselves have joined in to become "Vengeful Angels" themselves. Again, they would not see themselves in that light (much like Jessi would not be able to), but their behaviour matches the characteristics of this type of cyber bully like a glove. Again, we should not judge either Jessi or the parents for something that was said as a "spur of the moment" outburst. It is clear from the video that Mr and Mrs Slaughter indeed love their daughter and they were doing the best that they knew how to protect her from those that were spreading falsehoods about her. Perhaps they also didn't know about the more constructive measures one can take to combat cyber bullying? As mentioned earlier, we are dealing with only one side of the story here, as it has been presented to us, and we cannot know what was going on their minds at the time the video was made.

The last thing I wish to look at is the various websites that were involved in spreading the rumours and personal details (not to mention Jessi's response video). According to Adrian Chen, "Sticky Drama" - the website where all of these rumours began - is a "a crowd-sourced gossip website " for pre-teens ('How the Internet Beat Up an 11 Year Old Girl'). I have never heard of "Sticky Drama" until the Jessi Slaughter incident, but the nature and purpose behind this website makes me question why further measures are not taken to ensure that websites dedicated to gossip are not set up? Why has there been a website set up for people to gossip about other people and tell lies about? And furthermore, why are pre-teens encouraged to join such a website? While I have heard of Tumblr - one of the websites that spread the video around - I had not heard of 4Chan which, according to Chen, seems to be a pretty dangerous site where users can channel into other websites and use the information to spread viral messages about other people, which might not necessarily be true. Again, why are such websites set up for these purposes? I actually plan on writing a future post about such websites and why they can be dangerous places to visit, but that is for another time.

In short, there is a LOT of information we don't know about the case, with a lot of different angles people can analyse the situation from. The lack of maturity from Jessi, to the lack of parental responsibility of the parents, to the lack of common decency from "Sticky Drama", 4Chan and Tumblr users - all of these factors and more have contributed to this rather sticky mess. It is clear that Jessi Slaughter is far from being the innocent victim, and readers are free to choose to believe that she gets everything that is coming to her. However, regardless of how foolish her actions were, it is my opinion that NOBODY - yet alone an 11 year old girl - should have to live in fear of their life. My thoughts are with her and her family at this time, and hope they will be able to pull themselves out from their dilemma. I also hope that this post will help its readers learn from the mistakes others have chosen to make, and learn to deal with cyber bullying safely, productively, and responsibly.

Reference List:

Chen, Adrian. "11-Year-Old Viral Video Star Placed Under Police Protection After Death Threats (Updated)" Gawker.com. Web. 20 July 2010. http://gawker.com/5590166/

------------- "The Art of Trolling: Inside a 4chan Smear Campaign," Gawker.com. Web. 20 July 2010. http://gawker.com/5589721/the-art-of-trolling-inside-a-4chan-smear-campaign?skyline=true&s=i

------------- "How the Internet Beat Up an 11 Year Old Girl." Gawker.com. Web. 20 July 2010. http://gawker.com/5589103/how-the-internet-beat-up-an-11+year+old-girl?skyline=true&s=i

"EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Mom Defends 11-Year-Old YouTube Sensation Jessi Slaughter." Momlogic.com. Web. 20 July 2010.

"Jessi Slaughter has killed herself? The latest rumour in an unsavoury tale of trolling." News.com.au. Web. 20 July 2010. http://www.news.com.au/technology/jessi-slaughter-has-killed-herself-the-latest-rumour-in-an-unsavoury-tale-of-trolling/story-e6frfro0-1225894080075

Stryker, Cole. "The Jessi Slaughter Scandal - An Unbalanced 11-Year-Old Girl's Ongoing Fight With Internet Trolls." Urlesque.com. Web. 20 July 2010. http://www.urlesque.com/2010/07/19/jessi-slaughter/

"Viral Girl Under Police Protection". NineMSN News. Web. 19 July 2010. http://news.ninemsn.com.au/technology/7931577/viral-video-girl-under-police-protection

Identity Theft and You

Image taken from mediabistro.com



It is true that I have not written here in a while. This is partly due to the fact that my studies have begun to take priority over my blog sites, and I have not had the time to sit down and write a good quality article. The other reason is because there hasn't really been much motivation from my end to continue raising awareness of cyber bully prevention. That is, of course, until a recent incident that happened a little over a month ago drove me to start writing about this issue again. I would have posted this entry sooner, had I had the time to get my thoughts together. I always try to research my chosen topics thoroughly, and always like to take the time to think about what I am writing, because what I share on this site is meant to be for your help and benefit.

The topic I wish to discuss is identify theft. While this type of cyber crime cannot really be defined as a type of cyber bullying, both types of cyber crimes deal with the notion of power and the drive to take another person's power away from them. While cyber bullies attempt to rob their victims of their power of self-worth, online frauds use their victims' personal information to rob them of their power of identity. Like cyber bullying, identity theft is a crime, and it is a matter which is to be taken seriously.

What is Identify Theft?

A little over a month ago, a very good friend of mine had his online identity stolen from him. A young man whom he met online and with whom he became friends with on Facebook wanted to introduce him to a fun new game application he was offering. All my friend needed to do was to give this man his log in and password, so that he could activate the application for him. Believing that he would get to use this new game application, my friend gave those private details over to this young man. Before long, this man used the information to hack into my friend's account, and started doing things that my friend did not give him permission to do. His password was changed on him, making him unable to access his account and repair the damage this man had caused. Furthermore, the information was used to hack into another social website my friend was involved in, and the password was changed in similar fashion, so that he could no longer access this account either. Together with his mother, my friend made a rush effort to contact everybody who he was friends with and let them know of the situation, and asked us to remove ourselves from his friend list and block both accounts. This was done promptly, and I informed my friend and his mother that I had made sure the Facebook administration team knew what had happened. Within a few hours, this man's account was deleted, along with the hacked account. My friend had to create a new Facebook account and start re-building his online identity again.

The case of my friend is a good example that describes what identity theft is. Identity theft involves stealing another person's identity, in order to gain benefits from that stolen identity (Scamwatch). Usually, these benefits are of a monetary nature e.g. credit card and tax scams, fraudulent charity donations, applications for bank loans, government benefits, etc (Consumer Fraud Reporting, Crimes-of-persuasion.com, Scamwatch), but in the case of my friend, the benefits could just be the “thrill” of managing to lure an unsuspecting victim into a false sense of security and robbing them of what is important to them. In the United States, identity theft is reported to be “the fastest growing crime in the country” (Williams, 2010). With the increasing amount of identity theft cases (Crimes-of-persuasion.com). Many world governments and website managers are thinking of ways of how to best combat against and protect internet users from this problem. While identity theft is not committed exclusively online, this article will only deal with this issue from an online perspective.

How do I recognise if someone is trying to commit identity theft?

The most common method for online frauds to steal your identity is through phishing scams, such as the one in the illustration in Jerri Ledford's article, Recognize Identity Theft Scams (2010). Here, Ledford takes you through a step by step tutorial of specific things to look for in a phish email. As a rule, I personally do not open up any email from any person or organisation that I do not recognise. Yet, reading Ledford's article reminds me of a time when I received an email from my local bank, which had similar details to the example Ledford gives us. Thank goodness I knew that my bank does not send emails requesting for verification of bank details, otherwise I would have thought this email had actually come from my bank! Other phishing scams I have seen in my inbox include donation charities that I have never heard of, and a woman from Nigeria wishing to give me her inheritance when she passes away (I have since found out that the latter scam is a common one that people have used for quite a few years now, as you can read about here. ) (Kayne, 2010)

What steps can I take to prevent identity theft from happening to me?

Rachelle Williams gives us some useful tips on how to best prevent identity theft from happening to you ('How to Prevent Identity Theft Online', 2010):

* Use extreme caution on File Sharing Sites – this would include websites such as Facebook, MySpace, or any other social website that requires you to share personal information in order to join up (Lovett, 2008 and Williams, 2010).

* Properly disconnect your computer from a Broadband connection – While I personally think that is taking things to the extreme (I would never take such precautions myself), it is indeed sensible advice.

* Be aware of common phishing scams – new ones are being dreamed up all the time, and I have found that the internet is rich with information on the types of new scams that are coming out.

* Be cautious when sending emails – Williams warns us about sharing sensitive information in an email, as they can be intercepted by online scammers ('How to Prevent Identity Theft Online,' 2010).

* Use security software and keep it updated – Again, very sensible advice, which I actually DO take. It is a valuable tool in helping to detect what viruses are trying to get into your computer, as well as reducing the risk of someone hacking into your computer and stealing your information.

What do I do if I have discovered my account has been hacked into?

If you have become a victim of an identity theft scam that involves money, the Consumer Fraud Reporting website gives three basic steps on what you can do to counteract the situation (2010). With cases such as the one my friend was involved in, the appropriate actions to take would be to firstly, let your friends know of the situation and secondly, contact the administration team or help desk IMMEDIATELY, so that the scammer cannot cause any further damage - to you or to anyone else. Most government agencies have hotline numbers which you can call to report cases of identity theft, such as this one that the U.S. Government has organised.

In any case, IMMEDIATE action is the key to fixing the problem, if you believe you have become a victim of identity theft.


After my friend's account was hacked into and his online identity taken over, he was naturally devastated. After seeing what steps he should have taken to better protect himself, he was able to take this as a learning experience, and knows better now than to give out his personal information freely online. I hope this article has been beneficial to you, in that you have become better well-informed as to what identity theft is and that you now know what steps you can take to avoid having this ever happening to you.

Reference List:

Consumer Fraud Reporting, 2009. Web. May 2010.
http://www.consumerfraudreporting.org/index.php

Crimes of Persuasion, 2000. Web. May 2010.
http://www.crimes-of-persuasion.com/Crimes/Telemarketing/Inbound/MajorIn/id_theft.htm

Kayne, R. What Is a Phishing Scam? Wisegeek.com. Web. 18 July 2010.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-phishing-scam.htm

Ledford, Jerry. Recognize Identity Theft Scams – Spotting a Phishing Email. About.com. Web. May 2010. http://idtheft.about.com/od/preventionpractices/ss/phishing_scams.htm

Lovette, Guillaume. Online Identity Theft: Who's after my Facebook Password? SC Magazine. Web. 18 July 2010. http://www.scmagazineus.com/online-identity-theft-whos-after-my-facebook-password/article/109242/http://www.scmagazineus.com/online-identity-theft-whos-after-my-facebook-password/article/109242/

Scamwatch, 2008. Web. May 2010. http://www.scamwatch.gov.au/content/index.phtml/tag/identitytheft

Williams, Rachelle. How to Prevent Identity Theft Online: Five Tips for Preventing ID Theft While Surfing the Web. Suite101.com. Web. May 2010
http://peacesecurity.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_prevent_identity_theft_online