Identity Theft and You

Image taken from mediabistro.com



It is true that I have not written here in a while. This is partly due to the fact that my studies have begun to take priority over my blog sites, and I have not had the time to sit down and write a good quality article. The other reason is because there hasn't really been much motivation from my end to continue raising awareness of cyber bully prevention. That is, of course, until a recent incident that happened a little over a month ago drove me to start writing about this issue again. I would have posted this entry sooner, had I had the time to get my thoughts together. I always try to research my chosen topics thoroughly, and always like to take the time to think about what I am writing, because what I share on this site is meant to be for your help and benefit.

The topic I wish to discuss is identify theft. While this type of cyber crime cannot really be defined as a type of cyber bullying, both types of cyber crimes deal with the notion of power and the drive to take another person's power away from them. While cyber bullies attempt to rob their victims of their power of self-worth, online frauds use their victims' personal information to rob them of their power of identity. Like cyber bullying, identity theft is a crime, and it is a matter which is to be taken seriously.

What is Identify Theft?

A little over a month ago, a very good friend of mine had his online identity stolen from him. A young man whom he met online and with whom he became friends with on Facebook wanted to introduce him to a fun new game application he was offering. All my friend needed to do was to give this man his log in and password, so that he could activate the application for him. Believing that he would get to use this new game application, my friend gave those private details over to this young man. Before long, this man used the information to hack into my friend's account, and started doing things that my friend did not give him permission to do. His password was changed on him, making him unable to access his account and repair the damage this man had caused. Furthermore, the information was used to hack into another social website my friend was involved in, and the password was changed in similar fashion, so that he could no longer access this account either. Together with his mother, my friend made a rush effort to contact everybody who he was friends with and let them know of the situation, and asked us to remove ourselves from his friend list and block both accounts. This was done promptly, and I informed my friend and his mother that I had made sure the Facebook administration team knew what had happened. Within a few hours, this man's account was deleted, along with the hacked account. My friend had to create a new Facebook account and start re-building his online identity again.

The case of my friend is a good example that describes what identity theft is. Identity theft involves stealing another person's identity, in order to gain benefits from that stolen identity (Scamwatch). Usually, these benefits are of a monetary nature e.g. credit card and tax scams, fraudulent charity donations, applications for bank loans, government benefits, etc (Consumer Fraud Reporting, Crimes-of-persuasion.com, Scamwatch), but in the case of my friend, the benefits could just be the “thrill” of managing to lure an unsuspecting victim into a false sense of security and robbing them of what is important to them. In the United States, identity theft is reported to be “the fastest growing crime in the country” (Williams, 2010). With the increasing amount of identity theft cases (Crimes-of-persuasion.com). Many world governments and website managers are thinking of ways of how to best combat against and protect internet users from this problem. While identity theft is not committed exclusively online, this article will only deal with this issue from an online perspective.

How do I recognise if someone is trying to commit identity theft?

The most common method for online frauds to steal your identity is through phishing scams, such as the one in the illustration in Jerri Ledford's article, Recognize Identity Theft Scams (2010). Here, Ledford takes you through a step by step tutorial of specific things to look for in a phish email. As a rule, I personally do not open up any email from any person or organisation that I do not recognise. Yet, reading Ledford's article reminds me of a time when I received an email from my local bank, which had similar details to the example Ledford gives us. Thank goodness I knew that my bank does not send emails requesting for verification of bank details, otherwise I would have thought this email had actually come from my bank! Other phishing scams I have seen in my inbox include donation charities that I have never heard of, and a woman from Nigeria wishing to give me her inheritance when she passes away (I have since found out that the latter scam is a common one that people have used for quite a few years now, as you can read about here. ) (Kayne, 2010)

What steps can I take to prevent identity theft from happening to me?

Rachelle Williams gives us some useful tips on how to best prevent identity theft from happening to you ('How to Prevent Identity Theft Online', 2010):

* Use extreme caution on File Sharing Sites – this would include websites such as Facebook, MySpace, or any other social website that requires you to share personal information in order to join up (Lovett, 2008 and Williams, 2010).

* Properly disconnect your computer from a Broadband connection – While I personally think that is taking things to the extreme (I would never take such precautions myself), it is indeed sensible advice.

* Be aware of common phishing scams – new ones are being dreamed up all the time, and I have found that the internet is rich with information on the types of new scams that are coming out.

* Be cautious when sending emails – Williams warns us about sharing sensitive information in an email, as they can be intercepted by online scammers ('How to Prevent Identity Theft Online,' 2010).

* Use security software and keep it updated – Again, very sensible advice, which I actually DO take. It is a valuable tool in helping to detect what viruses are trying to get into your computer, as well as reducing the risk of someone hacking into your computer and stealing your information.

What do I do if I have discovered my account has been hacked into?

If you have become a victim of an identity theft scam that involves money, the Consumer Fraud Reporting website gives three basic steps on what you can do to counteract the situation (2010). With cases such as the one my friend was involved in, the appropriate actions to take would be to firstly, let your friends know of the situation and secondly, contact the administration team or help desk IMMEDIATELY, so that the scammer cannot cause any further damage - to you or to anyone else. Most government agencies have hotline numbers which you can call to report cases of identity theft, such as this one that the U.S. Government has organised.

In any case, IMMEDIATE action is the key to fixing the problem, if you believe you have become a victim of identity theft.


After my friend's account was hacked into and his online identity taken over, he was naturally devastated. After seeing what steps he should have taken to better protect himself, he was able to take this as a learning experience, and knows better now than to give out his personal information freely online. I hope this article has been beneficial to you, in that you have become better well-informed as to what identity theft is and that you now know what steps you can take to avoid having this ever happening to you.

Reference List:

Consumer Fraud Reporting, 2009. Web. May 2010.
http://www.consumerfraudreporting.org/index.php

Crimes of Persuasion, 2000. Web. May 2010.
http://www.crimes-of-persuasion.com/Crimes/Telemarketing/Inbound/MajorIn/id_theft.htm

Kayne, R. What Is a Phishing Scam? Wisegeek.com. Web. 18 July 2010.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-phishing-scam.htm

Ledford, Jerry. Recognize Identity Theft Scams – Spotting a Phishing Email. About.com. Web. May 2010. http://idtheft.about.com/od/preventionpractices/ss/phishing_scams.htm

Lovette, Guillaume. Online Identity Theft: Who's after my Facebook Password? SC Magazine. Web. 18 July 2010. http://www.scmagazineus.com/online-identity-theft-whos-after-my-facebook-password/article/109242/http://www.scmagazineus.com/online-identity-theft-whos-after-my-facebook-password/article/109242/

Scamwatch, 2008. Web. May 2010. http://www.scamwatch.gov.au/content/index.phtml/tag/identitytheft

Williams, Rachelle. How to Prevent Identity Theft Online: Five Tips for Preventing ID Theft While Surfing the Web. Suite101.com. Web. May 2010
http://peacesecurity.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_prevent_identity_theft_online

A discovery and personal story about dealing with Mean Girls online (and offline ) and how to handle the situation.

Image taken from fitnews.com.

This article was originally shared by Sarah H. in the anti-bullying group I had originally established in Flickr. It has been reproduced here with her permission.

*The names in this story have been changed for legal reasons.


My personal story with the Mean Girl version of cyberbullying happened on a site called Yahoo!Answers ( it may have a different name, depending on what country you come from ) which is a Question and Answer site.
You may have seen it and you may also have used it now and again or maybe similar websites such as, Yedda or Answerbag.com.
There are so many to be honest, I am sure.

How the cyberbullying happened, was that a girl called *Mary of 20 years of age and a guy called *Bob of 24 years of age,
got a funny idea in their heads that I was spreading public online nonsense on the website about *Bob which involved calling him nasty names and things.
So they got some bizzare idea that it would be fun to do this to me, though they didn't use my name but I could tell that the questions were hinting at me because of the words they used. Yes, I did report them to the website admins but all I got back was an automated message after a few days, asking me to provide them with more information.

Luckily the website does provide you with the option of blocking "trolls" aka bullies such as these if they ever do come back under a different account with a new username.

Anyway, *Bob and I had heart-to-heart oneday where I did ask him why he had all this hatred towards me for?
I got a pleasant e-mail back from him saying that he really did think I was spreading nasty rumours about him.
I e-mailed him back saying that no, I would never do that and that I was being angry back because of the nasty rumours him and *Mary were spreading about me.
And no, he never e-mailed me back after that. But at least he had the decency to e-mail me back to discuss things.

As for *Mary? well I did try having a decent e-mail heart-to-heart with her but all I got back from her was immature behaviour and her accussing me of being a lesbian and bisexual and that I was a horrid nasty evil person!
Not exactly mature behaviour for a 20 year old female, quite peculiar more like it.
Anyway, the reason why she was being so accusatory was to do with a silly Avatar game that alot of people seem to like playing in the Polls & Survey section or P&S on Yahoo!Answers, where we had to ask funny but nice things about the people who posted above and below us.
I asked her a silly question and that's how it started.


The odd behaviour from them both, ceased after some weeks and besides I noticed that *Mary and *Bob were getting their profiles on the website suspended alot.
I think because alot of other users weren't amused with their behaviour either, I am guessing.


Recently, She also got a friend called *Jane to email me and call me some silly childish thing which doesn't deserve any mentioning here since I blocked and ignored her.

Which brings me to the discovery and research of "The Mean Girl Syndrome."


Dr. Ann Saunders a psychiatrist and associate professor of psychiatry at The University of Texas Medical School at Houston states from this site: www.uthealthleader.org/archive/children_teens/2004/girlbu...
that the profile of a Girl Bully is as follows:



Girl bullies, fueled by their own insecurities, play on the greater insecurities of others, and play it well. “There is a gang mentality and these girls are able to incite an entire clique through manipulation and fear,” Saunders says.

It usually starts in late elementary and blooms in middle school, timed well with the blossoming of hormones, which is timed well with the need for peer acceptance. Saunders explains that “personal power, such as popularity, becomes important when you are beginning to define yourself. We define ourselves at that age through the eyes of other kids.”

Usually girl bullies possess a certain charisma or charm that attracts others to them in the first place. “She may be fun to be with, someone who makes you feel special when she is favoring you.”

But this gift is buried in baggage that also contains other emerging emotional issues: abandonment fears, feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, a sense of powerlessness over other areas of their lives. Powerful fears need powerful weapons. “Girls rule,” Saunders says, “through passive-aggressive means—it’s what they’re socialized, conditioned, even trained to do.”

A girl bully will find someone who is “different” to belittle; weaker, to dominate; stronger, to neutralize. She attacks insidiously through gossip, whispering, rumors, social exclusion from the lunchroom table, the slumber party, the playground. She may be part of the “bully-victim” cycle, needing to control others because she feels bullied.


And she also very interestingly explains why certain other females are drawn to the mean girl and want to join her pack:

Profile of the accomplice:
the clique, the groups, the bystanders.

“Annie,” a statuesque Baylor University graduate remembers her role as a member of the mob who, led by their bully, literally drove a victim out of their middle school.

“Out of terror that we would be the next in line to be shut out, we did what we were told, which was to exclude her, pass rumors about her, make prank phone calls, wrap (toilet-paper) her house. It went on every day for years and years,” Annie says.

Annie has no recollection of the trigger event, or why the bully targeted that particular girl. “But I remember feeling horrible for this girl and, even though I didn’t do anything to her directly, I never did anything to help her, out of fear that they would turn on me.”

Eventually the victim changed schools.

Saunders says that the followers carry out these actions, “even though they know it is wrong, because their urge to ‘belong’ is so great that they can’t afford to say no.”

The mob mentality is often born out of the sheer relief that they are not the target. “The power of social shunning is so strong at that age, that the nicest of kids will partake in the collective bashing because, let’s face it, there is safety in numbers, and next time, it could be you who is terrorized,” says Annie’s mother, Donna Lee, who can still remember who reigned in terror when she was 13, “like it was yesterday.”


The profile of the victim/'s:


Victims don't come in one particular flavor. They can be pretty or ugly, fat or thin, popular or invisible. "But they represent something to the bully that is threatening or power-inducing," Saunders says.

Victims begin to act victimized. They become fearful, reclusive and insecure at school. "They don't have the perspective to know that this will pass, that the bully only has the power that is given to her by the victim (albeit, fueled by bystanders)," Saunders says.

"Victims at the pre-teen and adolescent stage are hyperconscious of group attitudes and how they are perceived by their peers." The victim wants to be part of The Group as badly as the bully does, so she believes the bully's power to be real. And in fact, the power can be very real and can involve what seems to be the entire school.

The Catch-22 is that victims are terrified to change the role that they have been unjustly assigned. In the world of little girls all jockeying for power, acceptance (or a wall to crawl behind), remaining a victim is, at least, a familiar danger. Challenging the bully after the terror has begun could make it grow.

Long-term emotional damage though, is the price.

James Synder, PhD, researched bully behavior at the kindergarten level. The Wichita State University researcher found that girls who were victimized in kindergarten were more likely to engage in antisocial behavior at home as they got older. At the same time, they acted increasingly more depressed at school if their victimization continued or escalated.

Synder also found that many kindergarteners (boys and girls) found themselves routinely verbally and physically abused on the playground. But by the time they reached first grade, the bullying seemed to settle over a smaller group of perpetual victims.




The role of the parent and what parents can do:

Parents, if you suspect that your child has become the target of bullying, step softly at first. “Kids don’t open up much in those adolescent years. So you might have to fish for clues. Ask them about school and ask specifics about their school lives.”

If she says that the whole school is ganging up on her, try to find perspective: is it the whole school or three little girls in the same clique? “Kids feel like it is everyone, when in fact, with a little help from parents, they can see that it is just one or two girls who have hurt her feelings.”

Sometimes parents come into parenting roles with their own scars from bullies and are more sensitive to the social ebb and flow than their own kids are. “Sometimes we make it worse, out of fear that our kids won’t make it through this awful time,” Lee says. “We barge up to the school, demanding to know who is leaving our child out of the circle or we over-involve ourselves in our kids’ lives.”

And sadly, sometimes the parent was or still is, a bully, herself. She even may be subconsciously reliving her own girlhood, encouraging her daughter to leave out certain friends in a play group or sleepover. Or, she may have been a victim and still be smarting over unresolved issues of her own.

Saunders agrees with Lee. “It is very powerful and can make things worse when you get the moms in the middle of it. The parents’ values are very significant. A rule of thumb: if a parent does or says something in moderation, the kid will do it in excess. Parents can get kids to act out all sorts of psychodramas for them.”



Experts generally agree that telling your kids to fight back is not the best advice. The situation can escalate in a blink.

The best intervention is early prevention. Start teaching kids in pre-school how to apologize and how to accept an apology. Apology and forgiveness are difficult issues for grown-ups as well. Parents might want to pay attention in their own homes to how well they, as adults, model this behavior.

Older children who are being teased can be encouraged to say, "I don't like your teasing," and simply walk away. In other words, if the bully has no victim, they can't bully.

What parents need to do is use adolescence as a teaching tool. Parents are the modifiers for this extreme stage in their daughters’ lives, simply because we’ve lived through it. Show your girls that “the bully behavior is motivated out of insecurity and jealousy, not because the bully is right.”

If you suspect that your child might be the bully, consider talking to the school counselor or teacher, quietly. Then perhaps a visit with a mental health professional is in order. “Most girls grow out of this bossy, controlling phase once their sense of selves are strong enough and they begin to form their own identities. But sometimes these are the first signs to serious anti-social behaviors that will continue and worsen in adulthood,” Saunders says.

Saunders also says that studies show that in school environments where teachers and principals practice zero-tolerance in such areas as bullying, that occurrences are less frequent. When incidents are reported, there are mechanisms in place to find solutions.

“Parents involved in middle school organizations should request that these programs be put in place,” Saunders suggests.

Though most young girls experience some aspect of bullying—as the victim, the bully, or the follower—usually they grow through it and grow because of it. By high school, bullies and victims have usually moved through this phase and are nearing more adult issues. If middle school experiences are still dictating their behavior, it may be time to intervene professionally, Saunders says.

For additional resources: The Ophelia project at www.opheliaproject.org



Since this is more about cyber bullying, here's some info on why it happens and what YOU can do to help prevent it whether you're a parent or a guardian:

Mean Girl’ Weapons
Go Hi-Tech /Cyber


In this generation, you don't have to wait a whole week for a
rumor to sweep through school. With email, instant
messaging, three-way calling and even picture cell phones,
girl bullies have all the tools to wreak havoc anonymously in a
nanosecond.

* Three-way or conference calling is used to set up
the unsuspecting victim. Two girls get her on the line
and bait her to say incriminating things about herself
or the invisible "third" girl on the phone.
* Instant messaging allows the "buddy system" to do
the work. Hiding behind a screen name, a girl bully
and her clique can create bogus identities or steal
someone's screen name, making it appear as if the
whole world truly is talking about the victim right in
front of them online.
* Kids are computer-savvy enough to create whole
websites that post their opinions about a person
—complete with photos/videos taken with picture
phones. With simple graphics software, photos can
be digitally altered, depicting young victims falsely
and cruelly. Victims of video can find themselves
streaming across a bully’s website.
* Or, bullies may deposit information online through
social media like myspace.com or facebook.com.
* Pre-adolescent blogging has become the hi-tech
version of the old- school Slam Book: a notebook of
empty pages circulated through the school where
kids wrote anonymous slams about a person.

For parents:

* Find out what safeguards are in place for your
children's school-based computers.
* Try to place the computer that your child has access
to in a family or adult monitored room.
* Contact your Internet service provider to inquire about
parental safeguards available.

Online Scamming

Image taken from hubpages.com

The idea for this article came from an experience I had just this past week, where I had applied for a job through an online job search website I belong to. There was a casual position going for actors/extras for a talent agency, and I decided to apply for it, firstly because of the fact that it was only a casual position (allowing me to continue my studies, while at the same time earning money), and secondly, it was relative to the eventual career move I plan on making after I finish Uni (teaching drama and music; I could get more acting experience by working for them). They promoted themselves as a highly professional company in their ad, and provided a list of famous Australian TV shows and films that they had managed to get their previous clients into, so I decided, “Well, why not?”

I received a phone call from them the very next day after I had applied, and they asked me all these personal details about me, which was at that point that the “alarm bells” started ringing off in my head (you know the ones I'm talking about – the ones that instinctively tell you when something fishy is going on). I decided not to give them the answers to these personal questions and asked instead if they could send me more information about them, before I made my final decision. The woman I spoke with on the phone agreed and sent me an email with a link to their website, as well as a copy of an application form for me to fill out.

The website did not give me any information that helped me learn more about the company. So I decided to investigate further and “googled” this company. I found a link to a professional acting academy website, where there was a discussion forum set up by people who had onced used this company to further their acting careers, but found out that they got conned. Their purpose of setting up the forum was to warn people to not join this company. What was further interesting was that one of the managers of this talent agency had infiltrated into the forum and started deleting all posts that he felt were “defamatory” towards the company, leaving only the “positive” posts for all to see. One of the people protesting against the dishonesty of this company posted an official government website that listed all of the recognized talent agencies in Queensland – the talent company I applied for was not on that list. All of this information confirmed to me that the “alarm bells” that went off in my head were not just my imagination running wild, but were in fact real warning signs. I decided to write them back and told them that I was withdrawing my application.

The next day, the talent agency spammed my email account with 5 new emails, urging me to fill out the application form. When I did not respond to them, they called and left several messages on my mobile phone to call them back. Today when they did it again, I told them pretty sternly that I would not put up with this any longer, and urged them to remove me from their database. I will find out tomorrow if they have definitely done that or not (if they call me again or not).

This incident inspired me to write this new article, because it can be seen that online scamming is just another form of cyber bullying. The pressure tactics and aggressive nature of this company has led me to believe that online scamming and cyber bullying both fall under the same category, and it is important to be aware of the dangers behind getting involved in such scams.

First of all, what is an online scam?

Online scams come in many different forms. They can come in the form of chain emails, or pop-up advertisements ( Consumer Affairs Victoria ). More often these advertisements promote the possibility of obtaining much wealth and a happier life ( Stay Smart Online )and make promises that are simply “too good to be true” ( www.choice.com.au ).

Ways to avoid online scams:

* Never be quick to trust an email or website from an unknown source, especially the ones that promise you instant wealth and happiness, or that ask you for personal details (such as your phone number, bank details, etc) ( Stay Smart Online)

* Take time to carefully research more about an unknown business company that has attempted to contact you, BEFORE you decide to work for them.

* Listen to the “warning bells” - according to the “Be Smart Online” website, if it looks too good to be true, then it usually is.

If you have seen a possible online scam happening, it is important to find out who you can contact in your country to report these cases, as online scamming is a criminal offence. In the case of my experience with this talent agency, I felt it was important to report to the admin of the job search website about this company.

I hope readers of this article have now received the help and advice they need to be able to effectively deal with online scams....

Cyber Bullying: Let's fight it together

This short film is really powerful. I almost cried when I watched it:



Uploaded on YouTube by HeIsUnknown, 20 May 2008

Online Stalking in General

Image taken from www.stalkershandbook.com

I now go on to explain briefly the story of WHY I had felt the need to share the rest of my story of Bob, and how he turned on me from being my friend, to my stalker. I share this, because it is not just my story - this sort of thing has been happening to other people as well, somtimes not to such extremes, sometimes even worse. I have come to conclude from my experiences that cyber bullies are indeed stalkers, who enjoy abusing their victims verbally and emotionally.

I have recently been helping a friend who is also being stalked online by someone who has displayed the similar aggressiveness and zeal as Bob. However, for the record, this stalker is NOT Bob; he is definitely someone else. I know who Bob is, and I know who this other person is, but due to privacy reasons, I will not reveal the name of my friend, or the name of her cyber-bully. If my friend wants to make herself known, she will......

Originally, my friend was friends with this stalker here in Flickr, until he had stolen one of her self-portraits from her photostream. When she confronted him about this, he deleted the photo from his photostream and apologized. He later on followed her in all of her groups, harrassing her and creating new Flickr accounts, which she ended up blocking.

Eventually, he ended up joining one of my groups that my friend was also a member of, and she sent me a private message warning me of this man's behaviour. I ended up deleting him and sent him a message explaining why he was deleted. He responded with the following:

"hello jemanden
i red your stupid message and i could not stop laughing .why ? because i was sure that i will receive the exact message from you . i know also that you are Princess's friend and of course you will do what she told you without any reason.i mean you trust her because she made you blind and you follow her as a little child!!. i don't need to belong to your facken group.I only tested you and i was right.If you were really wise you would not react as a stupid man. Sorry for telling you that ,but it's the truth my friend.Now you should wake up and be wise before you can juge any body.What happened to me with (your friend) is none of your business boy.Do you understand???"

I responded with:

"Actually... it is YOU who looks more like a fool than you realize. I might be young, but old enough to know better that blurting out accusations WITHOUT BACKING THEM UP is childish and immature, such as what you yourself have done.

I have looked at your photostream, and (my friend) was absolutely right. There are pictures there that even I myself have recognized, and you have not given credit to that original person's work. (My Friend's)' self-portrait was one of those, and the only reason why you deleted it is because she threatened legal action against you. I HAVE SEEN THIS, so I know for a FACT that you do indeed steal photos from other people. Your failure to tell me your side of the story is evidence to me that this is true.

You say that I am lead blindly by (My friend). How do you know this? My judgement of you is not only based by what she has told me, but also by YOUR OWN behaviour and actions. (My friend) has been a huge support to me these past couple of months, ESPECIALLY when I was having personal problems in dealing with people who behave just like you are behaving right now. I too have had to deal with an online stalker, who I have had to block multiple times, because he had created multiple accounts, just like you have done. When I confronted him about his strange behaviour before I started blocking him, he reacted the exact same way I did, accusing ME of being the silly one and being stupid.

You see, whenever online stalkers/bullies are exposed, they tend to react the exact same way, such has been my experiences online. They chuck "temper tantrums" at the person who has confronted them, and accuse THEM of being the ones who are childish. Your immature reaction to my giving you a chance to explain yourself proves to me that, like my online stalker, you cannot deny that what has been said is true, and the only way you can defend yourself is by throwing insults at the people who have confronted you. It is interesting how you accuse me of behaving as a little child, when I had tried to be diplomatic by giving you a chance to explain your side of the story via email, and you come up with such a childish email.....

This behaviour, as well as seeing the stolen photos from other people in your photostream, does not give me any reason to disbelieve (my friend). It is not her words that have influenced my decision. Rather, it has a LOT to do with how I see YOU interact on Flickr. Your response to my email only further confirms that my decision is correct....

...Seeing as I have given you the chance to explain yourself, and and used that chance up by writing such an immature email, I am now going to block you, as I can see that you are not capable of responding in a mature and diplomatic manner, nor is your character any good....

From was_bedeutet_jemanden"

Since then, I believe my friend has not heard anything new from this guy, so I guess he has moved on to, but not entirely lost in cyber space. Like Bob, I know he's still around too.....

What was interesting about this experience was how all my feelings towards Bob and what he did ended up coming flooding back to me when I was helping my friend deal with her problem. Feelings that I had thought I had definitely left behind, but yet a twinge of hurt was still there. Like my friend, I was betrayed by someone who I let in as a friend, someone who turned out to be a monster.

It was because of this experience that I decided to tell the rest of my story, as originally I had planned on not sharing it at all. Now that I have seen what my friend had gone through, I could see that not only the other part of my story would not only help me to deal with the hurt I feel, but also help others realize that my experience is not uncommon, that there are others out there on Flickr and other social websites that have experienced similar things, and it is important to share those experiences and explain how you overcame those trials. This was the whole purpose of why this group was organized to begin with.

In short, I hope that this group will continue to be a source of help to those who want to learn more about how to best deal with online predators, and I hope that we can all come to learn from each others' experiences.

(In case any of you were wondering, I did ask permission from my friend first before telling her story)....

Are Cyber-trolls and Cyber-Bullies the same thing?

I was thinking about going to bed after moderating my Flickr Groups, but something has inspired me to write this particular blog article. I wish to inform, but I also wish to discuss this important topic.

The subject for this evening is cyber-trolls, and whether or not they can be classified as another type of cyber-bully. I present the following information I have found, so that you can read and draw your own conclusions:

First of all,
What is a cyber-troll?

A Cyber troll is someone who posts a comment in a discussion forum that is either inappropriate or controversial, with the intent on causing confrontation and heated arguments. (www.topix.com and enzinearticles.com).

What do cyber-trolls do?
Like Cyber-bullies, there are different kinds of cyber-trolls, as reported in www.theadminezone.com. Here are only a few that I have chosen to list here:

Shock Patroll: These kind of trolls target discussion forums that are usually used by women and small children (but they do not necessarily limit themselves to that). Often they will send out "distress signals" to get people's sympathy and attention. This kind of emotional manipulation leaves the person who responds to their "distress signal vulnerable" to their attacks.

Master of Illusion: These kind try to make themselves appear to be very trustworthy by their interactions towards their new-found "friends", but in reality they are trying to lull them into a false sense of security:

The Master of Illusion does have a motive. He is looking for personal gain. Either, money for a “sick mother,” or some personal form of satisfaction from manipulation techniques he employs. Perhaps he is searching for those he considers “beneath him,” so he can effectively saw their souls in half with the stroke of a few keys.
(Taken directly from the website.)

The Combat/Ready-to-roll kind: These kind put up a fight and often target admins and moderators of a discussion forum, with the motivation of getting the admins and moderators to start thinking their way. This is especially found in cases where the forum has a stated position.

The Hit-and-run Troll: Like the Master of Illusions, these type of cyber-trolls appear nice at first, then cause the damage they want to cause and quickly exit the scene before anybody can do anything about it.

The Tonya Harding Troll: The Tonya Harding Troll tries to justify his inappropriate behaviour, adament that he is definitely "playing by the rules."

The Toddler Troll: causes major problems when he/she is being ignoredor he/she is not getting his/her own way.

The Alien Troll: shares things that are completely irrelevant and off the topic, usually inappropriate stories.

Of course, there are cyber-trolls who display one or more of these characteristics, so it is would not be accurate to label a cyber-troll to simply one category.

How is this all in relation to cyber-bullying?
One definition of cyber-bullying is the following:
Cyber bullying is the use of modern communication technologies to embarrass, humiliate, threaten, or intimidate an individual in the attempt to gain power and control over them.” (Glenn R. Stutzky)
Bullying is all about power, the imbalance and abuse of power.
(taken from www.ippsr.msu.edu)

From what I have been reading so far, the common thread that links cyber bullies and cyber trolls together is the need for control and power. They want to gain enough power so as to be able to abuse and intimidate other online users.

What can I do when I am confronted with a cyber-troll?
With all the examples that "The Admin Zone" gives, the best methods for handling a cyber-troll is to ignore, delete, or ban the troll from the discussion forum.

If you are an admin for a discussion forum, observe very closely the social interactions that are happening between members of the forum. If you feel somebody is acting suspicious or who are displaying some of the characteristics already mentioned, kindly warn that person of their behaviour. If they continue with the inappropriate behaviour, it is important that you maintain the safety of all other group members who are doing the right thing by banning and blocking that member.

If you are not an admin of a discussion forum, yet you see a troll creeping in, it is important that you contact the admin of that forum IMMEDIATELY and report to him/her about the troll's behaviour.

I re-iterate the importance of the right for all online users to feel safe when socializing on the net, and urge all admins/members of discussion forums to take care when dealing with cyber-trolls/cyber-bullies.

References:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Dont-Feed-The-Trolls---Dealing-with-Cyber-harassment-&id=230627

http://www.topix.com/forum/afam/T4E5UM596TS73G03H

http://www.sparkplugging.com/sparkplug-ceo/when-trolls-flame-wars-and-cyber-rage-go-too-far/

http://www.petitiononline.com/helpfurs/petition.html

http://www.theadminzone.com/forums/showthread.php?t=19881

http://www.ippsr.msu.edu/Documents/Forums/2006_Mar_CYBER_BULLYING_INFORMATION_2006%20--%20Provided%20by%20Mr.%20Glenn%20Stutzky.pdf

Not only Children are Cyber Bullies...

Image taken from http://archive.salon.com/mwt/feature/2001/07/03/cyber_bullies/story.jpg


While I was trying to find an appropriate picture to upload for my previous post, I came across the following article that also deserves a mention in this blog. We are all probably familiar with the story:

A jury convicted a woman last Wednesday of three minor offenses in her role in an internet cyber-hoax which likely drove a 13-year old girl to suicide. Although originally charged with felony charges of accessing a computed without authorization to inflict emotional distress, the jury found defendant Lori Drew guilty of three lesser counts including accessing a computer without authorization. The parents of 13 year old Megan Meier alleged that their daughter was a victim of cyber-bullying which led her to commit suicide in October of 2006. Megan who sometimes suffered from low self-esteem was befriended on the social network MySpace by a boy who quickly became friends and eventually built a relationship with her over the network. Weeks later, Megan began to receive cruel messages from the boy’s account calling her a slut, fat and telling her that he no longer wanted to be friends. The cyber exchange devastated Megan, who was unable to understand how and why her friendship unraveled. The stress and frustration was too much for Megan, who had a history of depression.

Following her suicide the parents discovered that the boy never existed in the first place and that it was actually a hoax created by a mother, who had learned of the page from her own daughter and was using the fake boy’s profile to monitor their daughter’s activity. However, once accessing the fake account, Lori Drew began harassing and bullying the young girl until she hung herself in her own closet. Each conviction Drew faces could result in as much as one year in prison and a $100,000 fine. Sentencing is likely to be determined by the end of the month. Cyber-bullying is not uncommon among teenagers. In fact, almost one half of teens say they have been a victim at least once. What makes this case so troubling is that the bullying came from an adult and not one of Megan’s peers. The Meier family has since taken up the cause of Internet safety by trying to inform all parents of the dangers of cyber-bullying and pushing for parents to be mindful of their children’s online activities and relationships in the hopes that they can prevent further tragedies.
(Originally published by Mark Eiglarsh on his website.)

This story eliminates the stereotypical image of teenagers/adolescents being the only ones who cyber-bully. Cyber bullies come from all ages, shapes, forms and cultural backgrounds. However, this story also gives us hope, in that we can take steps to ensure that nothing like this tragedy ever happens again.

And Cyber-Bullying continues to thrive...

Image taken from http://www.floridacriminaldefenselawyerblog.com/cyberbully.jpg


I was disturbed to find the following going on in one of the Flickr groups I have recently joined.

I invited the girls involved to join My Flickr Group and to read of my experiences and see what kind of person they have become. Of course, I can only do so much as to persuade them to find a better solution to solve their problems with the person they were writing about. They must form their own opinion on the matter. But I hope that we can help these girls out and try and sort out their problems...

Ryan's Story

This is so sad!

Steps to take when dealing with cyber bullying pt. 1

You would remember from Cyber Bullying in the Flickr World pt.2, how the man who had only told half of the story about my friend had sent me a threatening message that if I did not delete all mention of his name in the posts I had posted, that he would sue me for defamation. You would also remember that I read as much as I could about defamation law in Australia, and came to the conclusion that I not only had a strong defence in my case, but also under the definition of defamation law in Australia, he too had committed a defamation offence by bringing a personal email written from my friend to him into a public discussion group, with the intention of ruining his reputation.

Today I went to a police station and explained my story. They verified that the information I had researched is correct. They also explained to me that because cyber bullying and defamation laws differ from state to state, I would have to get in touch with the police in South Australia, where JJ lives, if I am to report him at all. Likewise, if JJ were to carry out out his threat to press charges against me, he would have to contact the police in Queensland where I live. Either way, it is a very messy job that could take months before a charge can finally be made, thus further confirming the possibility that JJ might not go ahead with it after all, as it is an expensive and lengthy process.

Going to your local authorities for help is one way to deal with the problem. They can explain to you how the laws of your country help protect you from cyber bullying, and what steps you can take to protect yourself.

As soon as you feel you are being targeted by a cyber bully, the best thing to do is to block him/her from your social network. NEVER respond back to an abusive email message received by a cyber bully. Unfortunately, my friend Bob decided to defend himself by responding back to JJ's and SS's emails. Originally, he was polite about it, but towards the end when JJ and SS would not quit, after being told twice by Bob not to send any more emails, Bob ended up sending them messages that were not as nice as he could have worded them. JJ used this as ammo to try and defame Bob in a social forum. NEVER give a cyber bully an excuse to use your words against you, which is why it is important to block the cyber bully straight away and NOT respond to their taunts.

What I have also found useful in my experience is keeping a "log book". Save and print out all correspondance you have received from the cyber bully. This can be used as evidence, should you wish to press charges against the person. Make sure all dates, times, and content are accurately recorded, so they can be presented at any time to police or in a court room. I was fortunate enough to save and print out all correspondance I had received from JJ, Bob, Bill, and all other parties who were involved, before JJ had deleted all of the evidence from Flickr. It will be especially useful for me if I have to defend myself on the grounds of sense of duty and justification, should JJ go ahead with suing me for defamation.

I hope to be able to research and provide more tips to help people out in the fight against cyber bullying.

23 July 2009 - I think it is only fair to add in now that no charges were laid. JJ never carried out his threat; he didn't need to...

About a week after I had started sharing my story online, a good friend of mine contacted me gave me some very good counsel on how to deal with the situation. He politely pointed out to me that what I was doing was also almost border-lining becoming a cyber-bully which, to be quite honest, wasn't far from the truth. I needed to re-evaluate the REAL purpose of why I have set up my anti-bullying forums: Was I really doing this to help others out, or was I just out for revenge? It certainly started to become an act of revenge, the way I was behaving.

He encouraged me to change the names on all the posts that I had created, and write a public "apology" to JJ. This is what I wrote:

"I have read much these past few days about cyber bullying and the different types of cyber bullying, and have given much thought to my actions. I have read that bullies come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Some bullies are bullies because they pick on people as a need for power. Others become bullies by protecting or defending others from cyber bullies. The Stop Cyber Bullying website has classified these bullies as “Vengeful Angels”. “Vengeful Angels” feel that by defending their friends by exposing the people who have picked on them and that these bullies “deserve” to be treated the same way they treat others is a justifiable action, and they do not see that what they are doing is another form of cyber bullying.

It took a good friend of mine to point out to me the harsh realization that I didn't want to admit to myself – that by doing what I did, I was in fact on the pathway to becoming one of the very kinds of people I had been trying to fight against. My actions had begun take on the form of a “Vengeful Angel”, and although I still feel that it was my duty to clear my friend's name, I really could have gone about it in a different way.

It is with this in mind that I wish to express my sincere regret to all those who I may have offended by my actions. I have no idea how I can best reconcile with all parties involved, but I know that writing this letter of apology is the first step for healing the wounds that have been caused by my actions.

There was another man effected by this event .He was the one whose actions were brought to light by my actions. I would ask that each of you find it in your heart to not judge him to harshly and give him the opportunities I am asking for myself... a second chance."

JJ wrote back to me (again, via my friend) and explained that he was impressed by my demonstration of integrity. He basically left it at that, and let the situation slide.

I will always be grateful to this kind friend who showed me what I had done wrong, how I could have handled the situation better, and how to fix the current situation I was in.

(Would you believe the story is not over yet? There is a twist to the tale, something else that happened a few weeks after the defamation threat was dropped. You can click here to continue reading...)