You would remember from Cyber Bullying in the Flickr World pt.2, how the man who had only told half of the story about my friend had sent me a threatening message that if I did not delete all mention of his name in the posts I had posted, that he would sue me for defamation. You would also remember that I read as much as I could about defamation law in Australia, and came to the conclusion that I not only had a strong defence in my case, but also under the definition of defamation law in Australia, he too had committed a defamation offence by bringing a personal email written from my friend to him into a public discussion group, with the intention of ruining his reputation.
Today I went to a police station and explained my story. They verified that the information I had researched is correct. They also explained to me that because cyber bullying and defamation laws differ from state to state, I would have to get in touch with the police in South Australia, where JJ lives, if I am to report him at all. Likewise, if JJ were to carry out out his threat to press charges against me, he would have to contact the police in Queensland where I live. Either way, it is a very messy job that could take months before a charge can finally be made, thus further confirming the possibility that JJ might not go ahead with it after all, as it is an expensive and lengthy process.
Going to your local authorities for help is one way to deal with the problem. They can explain to you how the laws of your country help protect you from cyber bullying, and what steps you can take to protect yourself.
As soon as you feel you are being targeted by a cyber bully, the best thing to do is to block him/her from your social network. NEVER respond back to an abusive email message received by a cyber bully. Unfortunately, my friend Bob decided to defend himself by responding back to JJ's and SS's emails. Originally, he was polite about it, but towards the end when JJ and SS would not quit, after being told twice by Bob not to send any more emails, Bob ended up sending them messages that were not as nice as he could have worded them. JJ used this as ammo to try and defame Bob in a social forum. NEVER give a cyber bully an excuse to use your words against you, which is why it is important to block the cyber bully straight away and NOT respond to their taunts.
What I have also found useful in my experience is keeping a "log book". Save and print out all correspondance you have received from the cyber bully. This can be used as evidence, should you wish to press charges against the person. Make sure all dates, times, and content are accurately recorded, so they can be presented at any time to police or in a court room. I was fortunate enough to save and print out all correspondance I had received from JJ, Bob, Bill, and all other parties who were involved, before JJ had deleted all of the evidence from Flickr. It will be especially useful for me if I have to defend myself on the grounds of sense of duty and justification, should JJ go ahead with suing me for defamation.
I hope to be able to research and provide more tips to help people out in the fight against cyber bullying.
23 July 2009 - I think it is only fair to add in now that no charges were laid. JJ never carried out his threat; he didn't need to...
About a week after I had started sharing my story online, a good friend of mine contacted me gave me some very good counsel on how to deal with the situation. He politely pointed out to me that what I was doing was also almost border-lining becoming a cyber-bully which, to be quite honest, wasn't far from the truth. I needed to re-evaluate the REAL purpose of why I have set up my anti-bullying forums: Was I really doing this to help others out, or was I just out for revenge? It certainly started to become an act of revenge, the way I was behaving.
He encouraged me to change the names on all the posts that I had created, and write a public "apology" to JJ. This is what I wrote:
"I have read much these past few days about cyber bullying and the different types of cyber bullying, and have given much thought to my actions. I have read that bullies come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Some bullies are bullies because they pick on people as a need for power. Others become bullies by protecting or defending others from cyber bullies. The Stop Cyber Bullying website has classified these bullies as “Vengeful Angels”. “Vengeful Angels” feel that by defending their friends by exposing the people who have picked on them and that these bullies “deserve” to be treated the same way they treat others is a justifiable action, and they do not see that what they are doing is another form of cyber bullying.
It took a good friend of mine to point out to me the harsh realization that I didn't want to admit to myself – that by doing what I did, I was in fact on the pathway to becoming one of the very kinds of people I had been trying to fight against. My actions had begun take on the form of a “Vengeful Angel”, and although I still feel that it was my duty to clear my friend's name, I really could have gone about it in a different way.
It is with this in mind that I wish to express my sincere regret to all those who I may have offended by my actions. I have no idea how I can best reconcile with all parties involved, but I know that writing this letter of apology is the first step for healing the wounds that have been caused by my actions.
There was another man effected by this event .He was the one whose actions were brought to light by my actions. I would ask that each of you find it in your heart to not judge him to harshly and give him the opportunities I am asking for myself... a second chance."
JJ wrote back to me (again, via my friend) and explained that he was impressed by my demonstration of integrity. He basically left it at that, and let the situation slide.
I will always be grateful to this kind friend who showed me what I had done wrong, how I could have handled the situation better, and how to fix the current situation I was in.
(Would you believe the story is not over yet? There is a twist to the tale, something else that happened a few weeks after the defamation threat was dropped. You can click here to continue reading...)
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