(Continuation of part 2)
As advised, I stayed clear away from Bob and decided it best never to contact him again. That was, of course, until he joined a couple of the Flickr groups that I am an Admin for, in the attempt of trying to get in touch with me through there. By this stage, my other fellow colleagues from Flickr, who were also actively moderating these groups, knew of my situation, and we all decided to play things by ear.
Knowing now that I had people who were standing behind me with my decision, Bob at first decided to “test” us by posting comments in threads that had nothing to do wth the topic at hand, and not strictly replying to the group rules. We politely corrected him, and re-explained to him what the rules were, and continued to keep a close eye on him. He even tried to openly attack the religion of the friend who had advised me to stay away from him. These comments we deleted, and he was reprimanded and told that if he made another wrong move, he would be kicked out of the group.
He was eventually banned when he decided to vent his frustrations publicly in the forum, threatening that he would leave Flickr for good within 24 hours, if I or my online friends did not unblock him. When he saw that I wasn't going to budge, he carried out his “threat” and deleted his account, but created a new one and re-joined the forum. This time, he decided to write comments in there that he knew I would try and interfere and reply to. I decided to be civil, only giving short, but polite answers to his comments, but nothing more to make him think that all was forgiven, and that I would be unblocking him.
As far as his private emails to me were concerned, (and they kept coming, even after I stopped writing back), they consisted of all sorts of things to try and get me to respond back. A couple of them had been about supposed sick relatives and how he was grieving for their health, in an attempt to try and get me to feel sympathetic and write to him back. Then emails asking how I was doing, and hoping that he will hear from me soon:
“Dear Raymond,
How are you? I heard that Australia is hitted badly with the A fluenza flue H1N1. I hope you are ok. Please take good care of you! I am so worry of your safety.
Bob”
Some of them had to do with my church, and could I please re-teach him about Jesus Christ and his Gospel. Or he would ask me for help with something, or he would ask me for advice on a certain philosophical question, ANYTHING to try and get me to respond.
The last straw was when he sent me the following email on Facebook:
“Hi !
...I am right now more active in facebook I wonder will you accept me back as your friend? Will you add me back in the face book?
Missing you!
Bob”
Frustrated, upset, and to the point where I had to make it clear to him that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I ended up writing him the following email:
"Bob/ (long stream of all the Flickr aliases he created)
As I am writing this, I am thinking very carefully about the words I wish to say to you. Never in my lifetime have I EVER had to break a friendship off with ANYONE, as I really feel that when I trust someone, I have a TRUE friend for life. However, I will no longer tolerate being threatened, lied to, intimidated, manipulated, or emotionally blackmailed by the likes of you, such has been your behaviour towards me these past few days.
You knew very well when I asked for you to keep your distance from me after our disagreement, that I meant it. I specifically asked on more than one occasion that I ONLY wanted contact via hotmail, NO LONGER on ANY social site. Instead of respecting my wishes, you chose to create multiple Flickr Accounts (really long list was included in brackets), to try and get to me. When you saw that I had blocked each one of your aliases, you decided to send me YouTube videos of animals eating each other, a short film about a female bus driver being raped and murdered, said that you and your “twin” are now suffering from depression because of my decision to keep my distance, among SO many other things.
When that did not work, you tried to get through to me via my online friends. When you saw that they were on my side and were trying to help me, you decided to take the matter further by threatening to leave Flickr's Biggest Group within 24 hours, if I did not unblock you. You also had the gall to attempt to translate it into German, in an attempt to try and make even my German contacts turn against me.
This is only A TINY PORTION of the things you have done to me since I have distanced myself from you. Not once did you repect my privacy, in order to give me the chance to think things through. Not once did you show any understanding for my feelings and my wish to be able to reflect things over by myself and sort things out. Instead, you chose to continue to lie when I confronted you with more inaccuracies in your ever changing stories, used manipulation and partial truths to try and turn my friends against me, used emotional blackmail to make me feel guilty about my decision, and using inadvertent violent and non-violent threats to get me to unblock you.
It is for my own protection and safety (and MUCH evidently for your own safety and mental well-being) that I now tell you to PLEASE stay away from me. Your behaviour is making me feel uncomfortable, and I feel as if I do not know you at all any more. Do not try and create further Flickr Accounts to get through to me – I will simply keep blocking them. Do not try and get through to me via my friends – they are already well informed of my decision. Do not continue to threaten or harrass me via my hotmail account – I will simply ignore them. You cannot hurt me or my friends any longer, and I will not allow you to make me feel uncomfortable, stressed, angry, or upset any more.
I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.
From Raymond"
As I finished writing this email, I felt a huge wave of relief rush over me. It was as if I had truly said to myself, “I am letting go for good”. All my frustration had gone, and I felt for the first time in the THREE MONTHS that this had been going on for, that I was finally free. And this is how things have left off until the present day...
(Click here to read the conclusion)
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