There have been some recent events that have happened to one of my online friends that has prompted me to share with you more about my original story of JJ and Bob. This is actually the most painful part of the story for me; even as I am writing this, I had thought I had already worked through it all, but I am finding that I am still hurting inside because of what happened next in this seeminlgy never-ending saga...
Bob's name was cleared from the public slander that JJ had posted, and he was ever so grateful to me for helping him out. We continued to remain close friends, until one day when I noticed his account got deleted. He created a new one, got back in touch with me, and explained that he just woke up that morning and found his account had been deleted. He explained to me that he couldn't work out why his account would have been deleted. I thought nothing of it at the time, until his many accounts began to be deleted all too frequently. His rapid disappearances and reappearances started to make me feel uncomfortable, so I decided to monitor his behaviour in the various forums he participated in. It turns out that he was trying to cause trouble for the forums he was involved in – posting pictures that were inappropriate, or not complying with the rules that the forums had set up. It was at this stage that I immediately blocked him from my Flickr Account, and also from my Facebook Account.
As one would imagine, I was devasted by this revelation: My online friend, whose “good” name I had fought so hard to preserve, was in very deed the type of person JJ said he was! That was a really hard blow to me. I did not know whether I should get in contact with JJ and apologize to him, or whether it was best to leave him alone. It was just so hard for me to take in.
After I had blocked Bob, he decided to write me the following email:
"Dear Raymond,
This is Bob. I noticed that you... have banned and blocked me. I am very stunned of you... action toward me.I am sad, and breathless. Th flikr is very important to me. Without the flikr world, there is no any meaning in my life.
What have I done? What is my mistake that can't be forgive?...At least please tell why I was blocked and banned, thank you.
Your sincerely,
Bob"
I felt that it was time that I told him what I had discovered, so here is what I wrote back:
"Hi Bob.
There are several reasons why I had blocked you, mainly for
behavioural reasons... I would like to share with you how
everything looks like from my perspective. I hope you can
read this with an open mind and an understanding heart.
I too have a few questions for you, and hope that you will
be honest with your answers, just as I am going to be honest
with you now as to why I blocked you.
In the Everything Fun Discussion Group, you mentioned that
your account had been deleted because of discussion threads
you had posted in the Christian Photography Group. You and I
both know that this happens to you and (twin brother) on a
regular basis, and the only reason I can think of behind
that is because you obviously musn't be keeping the
guidelines set in the group rules, or the Flickr guidelines.
You and I also both know that we have had conversations
about this in the past, and I have recommended that you
check Flickr's policies and guidelines first BEFORE you do
anything. Yet you continue to do this. And when you are
kicked out from one group, you try and do something else in
another group that violates that group's guidelines. Why is
that?
The other thing that made me nervous is how (twin brother's)
account was deleted within 1 day after yours was deleted,
which didn't make sense to me. This suspicious behaviour has basically made me question
whether or not I can trust you, because the Head Honchos of
Flickr do not delete people's accounts because they are
doing nothing wrong.
The continual excuse of "I don't know
why my account has been deleted" really doesn't cut it with
me, especially seeing as I have told you before what you can
do to find out why: By reviewing Flickr's guidelines and
policies to ensure that you are not doing anythying wrong.
The fact that you continually get banned from groups and
have your account deleted is an indication to me that you
MUST be doing something wrong, or you're doing something
wrong and not knowing about it, but not bothering to check
up on what it is. And if it is the case that you have been
doing things that are contrary to Flickr's guidelines and
policies, than I no longer wish to associate myself with
such persons.
I hope you can understand why I feel it is important to
protect myself from you at this time. However, if you can
give me a VALID explanation for your behaviour, I might be
able to consider things differently. But the way things
stand, the way it looks to me at the moment, I cannot be
your friend, unless an explanation has been given."
(Previously, Bob had sent me another email, claiming that it was his twin brother that had somehow hacked into his account and was doing those suspicious activities. Bob insisted he had no part in whatever his twin brother did with his account. This explanation is important to understand the rest of my message to him):
"That is my answer to your question for me. Now it is my
turn to ask you some questions that I would like answers to.
It is in regards to the email you sent (to me).
Please remember that I have been honest with you at this
point - I hope you can return the same favour:
In your email..., you stated that you had been
in contact with JJ. First of all, why did you do
this, when you know very well that he has attacked you in
the past? If you will recall the advice I had given to
people in the Flickr Says No group, when you are being cyber
bullied, you should IMMEDIATELY block that person and have
nothing to do with the person AT ALL.. Why have you taken the risk of getting in touch with him again? Why have you allowed yourself to become prey to him again? It's the same thing when you continually post things in groups where the
posts don't belong. To me, it is almost as if you WANT to cause the trouble, so that you have an excuse to complain to someone else that you are being unfairly done by. This is very silly, and your'e only going to upset more people as well as yourself for doing such a thing.
How did JJ find out that I had blocked you? Did
you tell him, and if so, why?... Were you just using this as an opportunity to gossip with JJ
about me?...And why did you feel the need to tell (my online friends)
about it? If you had heard ANYTHING from JJ about
me, you should have verified it with me first BEFORE telling
other people what he said.
That is called gossip, and I do
not like it when people spread stuff about me that is not true.
This new revelation makes me feel even more as though I cannot trust you anymore.
You stated in (your) email that JJ had
given you my email address. Why did you lie to (my online friends)
about that, when you and I both know that you have ALWAYS
had my email address; you got that from (your twin) and
had started emailing me when I was defending you against
JJ? The fact that you have not been totally honest
with (my online friends) makes me question as to whether or
not you have been honest with me in the past.
There are other things that do not add up. In this photo
you posted:
www.flickr.com/photos/38600106@N02/3550321913/
You blamed your brother for using your account to post
those posts that were inappropriate for the kind of group
(one of my friends) had set up. This echoes a previous time when I
myself had received interesting comments from (your twin),
and he ended up blaming it on you. Can you explain for me
how that is possible for (your twin) to use your account to
do that, because BOTH accounts were deleted at roughly the
same time?
How come you all of a sudden found out each other's new account names so quickly and be be able to sabotage each other? It defies all logic, but you obviously think that there has to be plausible explanation for it all,
so I would like to hear it.
Can you understand now why I am frustrated? There are so many things about your behaviour and activites that simply
DO NOT ADD UP, and until you can provide me with a good
explanation for all of this, I need to protect myself and
anyone else who I feel close to. I am really glad that I was able to get all of this off of
my chest, and hope that you can be as honest and upfront
with me, as I have just been with you. There's no need for
me to unblock you, so you can reply back to this - you
already have my email address, so just send your reply to me
there.
I look forward to your reply. I hope we can sort this out.
From Raymond"
This is how I had left it, and I waited patiently for his response, for if he was able to adequately explain himself, I felt that I would have, in time, been able to forgive him. Unfortunately, his answers only left me with more questions, as he and his twin continued to blame each other, which you can read about in PART 2....
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